What about now?

Only 2 days left until the semester is over. I CAN NOT wait. This semester feels like it has drug on and on. I had 2 finals today, which I think I did decently on both. All I have left is a project due on Thursday at 3 pm. So all day tomorrow, I will be sketching! I am not very good at drawing or sketching, so this project has been one that I put on the back burner. Hopefully I get it done, however I have a feeling I will have a long day tomorrow and possibly a long night also. After Thursday I have a break until June 1st. Then my Textiles Class (TXMD) will start. From what I hear, the TXMD class is pretty easy but it is 5 days a week 10:10-12:50. Then in July I am taking an IDES computer course that should be pretty fun but it’ll be more of a challenge. David will be leaving for AZ some time over the summer, we are hoping late July, so that he gets the chance to celebrate Independence Day with his family but he doesn’t have a set day yet, all we know is that it will be some time over the summer. I am hoping that he can get leave on the weekend after our 21st birthdays so that we can celebrate them together. I am planning on getting me second tattoo (that I designed!!) on my birthday (Thursday, September 3), which means he probably won’t be here for that but he will most likely get to come home late Friday. All I can do is put it in God’s hands and hope it works out :)

It’s funny how our whole lives we look forward to the future so much that some times we forget to enjoy the present. I am looking forward to August so much that I dread every day until then. Once September is here, then I’ll want to go back to summer. I’m beginning to see that it is a vicious circle, called life. “I’m loosing myself, trying to compete with everyone else instead of just being me. I don’t know where to turn. I’ve been stuck in this routine. I need to change my ways instead of always being weak.” Part of me feels like I need summer, to myself. I can get up every day, work out, go to class, go to work, visit with my parents on the weekend and just simply find myself. Interior design has made me so cynical. However, on the other hand, summer is the last time I’ll get to do things with David. There are so many things we want to do together, go bowling, go camping, star gaze and even just be together, with no worries, like when we first started dating. Life is taking it’s toll on the enjoyment of life. The tattoo that I designed kind of shows that. It means love, life, and loyalty. It has the words Serenity, Courage, and Wisdom intertwined in it. Something that I think most of us need to be reminded of, so tonight I will leave you with these words “God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, courage, to change the things I can, and wisdom, to know the difference.”

God Bless.
emj